Okay, lemme get this straight. We're now obsessing over *pink* pineapples? Seriously? Is this where we're at as a society? I saw this headline about Benny Blanco, whoever that is, raving about it, and I just about lost it.
Pink Pineapples: The Instagram Apocalypse is Now
Genetically Modified...For Instagram?
So, it's a genetically modified pineapple. Surprise, surprise. They tweaked its DNA so it stays pink instead of turning yellow. Lycopene, blah blah blah. Who cares? The real question is, why? Oh, right, "influencers" need something new to shove in our faces.
It's not even a different species! It's like dyeing your hair pink and calling yourself a unicorn.
And the price? $25 to $50 *per pineapple*? Are you kidding me? I can buy a whole damn *case* of regular pineapples for that price. And they taste just fine, thank you very much.
It takes two years to grow one of these things? Two years! That's longer than it takes to get a useless degree in gender studies. What a complete waste of resources. Seriously, are we solving world hunger here, or just manufacturing a food trend for rich people to post on their TikToks?
Offcourse, they ship it without the crown, so you can't even replant it. Talk about planned obsolescence. It's like they *want* to keep the supply artificially low and the prices sky-high.
Pink Pineapple: Health Benefits or Instagram Bait?
Health Benefits? Give Me a Break.
Oh, but it's "packed with health benefits!" Vitamin C, antioxidants, aids digestion... Give me a break. So does every other fruit and vegetable on the planet. They're acting like this pink pineapple is some kind of miracle cure. It's a pineapple, people. Get a grip.
I'm sure the bromelain is great and all.
And the "viral appeal"... Don't even get me started. It's pink, so it's Instagrammable. That's it. That's the whole damn reason this thing exists. We've reached peak shallowness. We're judging food based on its color now? What's next, blue broccoli? Purple potatoes – wait, those already exist. Never mind.
I need a drink.
Pink Pineapples: Proof We're Officially Living in a Simulation?
Seriously, Who's Buying This Crap?
So, let me get this straight – people are actually shelling out $50 for a genetically modified, pink pineapple just so they can take a picture of it? Are people really that desperate for attention? Are we that bored? Maybe I'm just too old and cynical to understand the appeal. Maybe I'm the crazy one here.
But honestly, this whole pink pineapple thing just feels like a symptom of a larger problem. We're so obsessed with novelty and superficiality that we've completely lost sight of what's actually important. Real food, real experiences, real connections... you know, stuff that actually matters.
We're Doomed.
